Satanist Anton Lavey Resurrects Himself as John Fetterman to Run for US Senate in Pennsylvania

by Craig Hartranft on March 30, 2022

in American Culture & Politics, Humor & Satire, Op-Ed

Fetterman vs Lavey

Note the subtle beard change.

Famous founder and high priest of The Church Of Satan has miraculously reappeared from Hell as Lt Governor John Fetterman to run for Pennsylvania’s Senate seat, vacated by Pat Toomey. Fetterman originally ran for Lt Governor on a single issue: that he would make a state wide tour discussing the legalization of marijuana.He won. Marijuana is the preferred drug of Satanists everywhere, including Anton Lavey who promoted it as part of his demonic healthy lifestyle. Lavey also promoted the values of hedonism, carpe diem, smashing puppies and kittens, aborting fetuses, sexual liberation, and general vile hanky-panky and debauchery. Curiously, all these things are championed by the Democratic Party. Ergo, Republicans see Fetterman as the resurrected spawn of Satan. (Ironically, these are the same values shared by their evil hero, Donald J Trump.) There goes the neighborhood, election, and Senate seat.