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Humor

Texas Post TurtleWhile suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to President Obama and his role as our President.

The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘post turtle.’

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a ‘post turtle’ was.

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Editorial cartoon removing Obama bumper sticker

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Justin Eichelberger, 28, of Ephrata, was charged with disorderly conduct and public drunkenness after police twice responded to a home in the 900 block of Ivy Lane for loud music complaints Sunday night (May 8), Ephrata police said.

Eichelberger was not compliant, and was argumentative and disruptive to the neighborhood when he followed police onto the street and shouted profanity and demands at them, police said.

What a dope.

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Drunken moron punches the medics trying to help him with injury

5 May 2011 American Culture

A drunk Lancaster man punched medics several times while they were treating him for an injury, police said. At 12:45 a.m. on Saturday, officers responded to a report that a male had just broken a window at a home on Greenwood Avenue in Lancaster Township and was running around in the area, Manheim Township police [...]

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Woman busted for allegedly trying to buy a hooker for 80-year-old dad on holiday weekend

3 May 2011 American Culture

A woman in Tampa may have figured she’d found a better Easter gift for her elderly father than a basket of candy: a tryst with a prostitute. Pia Kirchberg, 51, and father Maurice Kirchberg, 80, were both arrested over the holiday weekend after the daughter allegedly tried to buy dear old dad a hooker, according [...]

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Oregon mail carrier caught taking a crap on resident’s lawn, drops a three pound stinking steamer

18 April 2011 American Culture

Don Derfler’s own wife didn’t believe him when he told her the mail carrier was defecating in public. Then he showed her the pictures. Derfler saw it all from his living room window while he was babysitting his son Wednesday afternoon. “He started pulling his pants down and started defecating, and at that point I [...]

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How to install a Southern Redneck security system for your home

1 April 2011 American Culture

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots. 2. Place them on your fr ont porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine. 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. 4. Splash a little watered down rusty red [...]

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The political interests of newspaper readers across the United States

25 March 2011 American Culture

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

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Surprised? Ephrata Boro workers photographed doing nothing on the job

9 March 2011 American Culture
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Crazy and vulgar Garden Spot HS teenager angry over school lunch, yells obscenities at cafeteria staff

4 March 2011 American Culture

Many students complain about their school cafeteria’s food. Some complain to their principal, some write letters to the school newspaper, a few have even gone on hunger strikes. In New Holland this past Tuesday, a female Garden Spot High School student, unhappy with her lunch, threw her sandwich at the wall in the school cafeteria [...]

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