Local Community Christmas Tree Recently Named Ugliest In Small Town America

by Craig Hartranft on December 2, 2018

in Humor & Satire, Op-Ed

Dateline: Ephrata, Pennsylvania

Ephrata Community Christmas Tree by Ephrata National BankA local community Christmas tree was recently named the ugliest Christmas tree in small town America, thanks to its incomplete decoration which resulted in the evergreen having only half its lights. The announcement was made on social media via Facebook, and quickly garnered 1.5 million likes.

Ephrata National Bank, finding the shaggiest, most wilting, evergreen possible, had the tree decorated by bank employees, and assisted by apparently drunken Borough government and Ephrata Development Organization workers. The result was an award winning community Christmas tree with only half its lights.

Notwithstanding, ENB President Aaron Groff and Ephrata Mayor Ralph Mowen hailed the Christmas tree as another holiday victory for the town. Additionally, Groff added, “We hope all Ephrata folks will feel the difference the bank makes for our community.”

Ephrata, population approximately 14,000, is also well-known for a State liquor store, Chinese take-out joints, the large abundance of lawyers in a one block radius, and a vast variety of second hand junk stores.

Disclaimer: This is article of humor and satire. The views and opinions expressed on CraigHartranft.net are entirely my own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any entity or person referred to in any article. Any content provided is my opinion, and is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization (secular or religious), company (secular or religious), individual or anyone or anything. That is to say, nothing posted is either libel or “hate” speech. Even if you, the reader, may think otherwise.

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